This Is Goodbye
by kakashidiot
Summary: ERGO PROXY. Vincent says farewell to Romdeau. Real and Raul's thoughts on life, Proxy, identity and memory. RandR!


I do not own Ergo Proxy.

Ref. "Amazing Grace" and "Krapp's Last Tape"

**bold: quotes**

_italics – thoughts_

_**divider – changing POVs.**_

Hope this riddle is understandable!

* * *

This Is Goodbye

_**I was blind but now I see.**_

Misconceptions blind us all. The cutting edge of our shattered memories which we hold tightly in our bloody sliced hands. It's a broken mirror of identity.

_What do we all think? _I wonder.

* * *

-real-

**Let me in.**

"Vince!" I cry, reaching out to grab his hand – in vain.

I guess I am no savior – and he passes by me, unstoppable – like an inevitable story. A movie. Record player.

I see this scene over and over and over in my head.

He passes me, I grab – I attempt.

"Vincent!"

I fail. Suddenly, my vision – already blurry from the high winds and bumpiness as I slip down the small walkway – is blocked. I cannot see.

It's Iggy.

"Iggy, what about Vincent?" I ask.

His eyes are blank discs, I wonder, if he had a face, would it show disapproval?

_Is there something human in him_ - as he says, "What a stupid thing to do!"

But all I say is:

"Vincent!"

* * *

-vincent-

**Perhaps my best years are gone. When there was a chance of happiness. But I wouldn't want them back.**

I grip the bar tightly in my hand – unsure of everything but one thing. I cannot go back. No. I cannot – even though I don't know how far I will fall – I'm already dead. I am fallen.

_But can she understand, that black-haired beauty with the violet eyes?_

_Can she see? What will she see? What does she see in me?_

"Every day," I voice aloud to the wind – the earth – Romdeau – to the robots and humans who may be listening – to Pino – to HER – Real Mayer.

_Please. Understand._

"... I tried to become an ideal citizen... I killed my own personality, and tried so hard to become one... anytime, anywhere."

But all she cries is my name.

_My name? Who am I? I can't say. And this is that sad effect of trying everyday to be good, to be balanced, to stay pure – to – how did it end up like this?_

"And that result, is this, huh? I'm a failure."

Even then, she doesn't understand. Her reasoning – her pleading: "Why? Listen! I'll talk to my grandfather! I promise the police won't touch you!"

Those misconceptions – those broken, misleading mirrors.

My mouth turns up in a bitter grin as I continue my solitary monologue – unheard. Our conversations stretching parallel and never meeting.

"Never doubting the system, and always following the rules. Those are the requirements for an ideal citizen."

She's crying, desperate to know a truth she can't see in the face. "Don't go!"

_Am I any better though?_

All I can say is, with a secretive grin: "Looks like I won't be able to become an ideal citizen in the end. Farewell..."

I'm pulling backwards, the wind's hands – arms – dragging me down – pulling me down further from heaven.

* * *

-raul-

**Never knew such silence. The earth might be uninhabited.**

_What am I seeing?_

I can't believe my own eyes. I don't know what to think. Well... there are the details. A closing door, a small child in a rabbit suit pulling a brown rucksack across the floor to the Outside.

_Unthinkable. _

Even more – the man – Vincent – standing there – reeling back with the weight of the wind.

His hair waving like a demon's mane – _like those monsters that struck you down, beloved_. Beloved and the child. The madonna and her baby.

_Proxy_... that mystery that took away the heaven in Romdeau – that balance.

The eternally stable clock which turns around and around and around...

_But what is real?_ _The invisible time turning in time with puppet dancers? We who are the puppets stuck in our never-ending cycles?_

Except when something breaks...

_Ergo Proxy. The demon who came and destroyed that peace. And Vincent the man who leads me to their heart._

Vincent – now disappearing behind closed doors – I grunt with exasperation.

"Why are you closing down?!" I turn to my silent robotic escort. "You must apprehend him!"

And that mechanical clock, inevitable time, speaks in the still inflections of voice: Kristeva.

The blank face – w_hat does she see, I wonder? What does she think?_

_Can she see the desperation of a man on the edge of knowledge – avenging the past but afraid to move forward?_

"Anymore exposure will endanger this whole area."

_A voice of reason can see nothing, then. It is merely sound – a clashing symbol or a clanging gong. It isn't love or emotion. It is the balance and the twirl and the precise tune of the unchangeable existence._

I sigh – then – the young girl turns. It is no girl. Rather, this girl is no human. She is mine – was mine – and why – _why_ -

I don't know what to say -

_Pino._

"Vincent!"

Real Mayer still calls his name – when I cannot even reason with the last thing I loved. And there he goes – disappearing behind the doors. Those inevitable doors.

Inevitable doors – time – clock - unstoppable.

I can only stand there and watch.

* * *

-vincent-

**But under us all moved, and moved us, gently, up and down, and from side to side.**

Watching is what we do best. And I wonder – _do we even see?_ - or do we walk through life with closed eyes? Unaware of the dark around us? And then, when the days are renewed – the light?

_**Open my eyes – to see the wonders of your word...**_

_No._

I open my eyes, to let you in – _what do you see, Real?_

* * *

-real-

**I asked... look at me and after a few moments – Pause – after a few moments, she did, but the eyes were just slits, because of the glare.**

I see abnormal green. They are life. _No._ They are a mystery. Life is a mystery, after all.

All I can do is whisper, "That guy..."

* * *

-raul-

**Never knew such silence.**

_Pino. Why? What do you find missing in me?_

* * *

-vincent-

Steel shutters close.

Our visions cease.

Our revelation dies.

All I think is:

"Over. It's all... over."

I fall.

_**I am lost – will I be found?****

* * *

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